LGBT Divorce in Maine

Maine has a progressive history regarding LGBT rights and same-sex marriage. Since the legalization of same-sex marriage in the state, LGBT couples have had the same rights and responsibilities as opposite-sex couples, including the right to divorce. This comprehensive guide explains everything LGBT couples need to know about the divorce process in Maine, including unique challenges, legal protections, and important considerations specific to same-sex divorces.

History of Same-Sex Marriage and Divorce in Maine

Understanding the history of same-sex marriage in Maine helps explain some of the unique challenges LGBT couples may face during divorce. Maine became the eighth state to legalize same-sex marriage when voters approved Question 1 in November 2012. The law took effect on December 29, 2012, allowing same-sex couples to marry with full legal recognition.

Before 2012, Maine allowed domestic partnerships, which provided some but not all the rights of marriage. The federal Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), which defined marriage as between one man and one woman, prevented same-sex couples from receiving federal benefits even in states that recognized their marriages. In 2013, the U.S. Supreme Court struck down key parts of DOMA in United States v. Windsor, opening the door for federal recognition of same-sex marriages.

The landmark 2015 Supreme Court decision in Obergefell v. Hodges made same-sex marriage legal nationwide. This decision ensured that all states must recognize same-sex marriages performed in other states and must allow same-sex couples to marry. This ruling was crucial for divorce proceedings because it meant that same-sex couples could divorce in any state, not just the state where they married.

These historical developments create unique situations for LGBT couples divorcing in Maine today. Some couples may have been in long-term relationships before same-sex marriage was legal, creating complications about when their legal marriage actually began versus when their relationship started. Others may have married in different states or countries, which can affect property division and other divorce issues.

Equal Rights and Treatment Under Maine Law

Today, Maine law treats same-sex divorces exactly the same as opposite-sex divorces. There is no separate legal process or different set of rules for LGBT couples seeking to end their marriages. All provisions of Title 19-A of the Maine Revised Statutes apply equally to same-sex and opposite-sex couples.

This equal treatment means:

• Same-sex couples use the same divorce forms and procedures as opposite-sex couples
• The same residency requirements apply
• The same grounds for divorce apply (irreconcilable marital differences)
• Property division follows the same equitable distribution principles
• Spousal support is calculated using the same factors
• Child custody and support follow the same best interests standards
• The same waiting periods and timelines apply

The Maine courts have been clear that sexual orientation and gender identity cannot be factors in determining custody, property division, or any other aspect of divorce proceedings. Judges must base their decisions on the same legal standards regardless of the couple's sexual orientation or gender identity.

However, while the law treats all marriages equally, LGBT couples may face practical challenges that opposite-sex couples do not encounter. These challenges often relate to issues that existed before same-sex marriage was fully legal, such as determining when a marriage truly began for couples in long-term relationships, or dealing with property acquired before marriage was an option.

Residency Requirements for LGBT Divorces

The residency requirements for LGBT divorces in Maine are exactly the same as for opposite-sex divorces. At least one spouse must have lived in Maine for a minimum of six consecutive months immediately before filing for divorce. The filing spouse must continue to reside in Maine throughout the divorce proceedings.

However, LGBT couples face unique residency considerations:

Where You Married vs. Where You Live

Some same-sex couples traveled to other states or countries to marry before Maine legalized same-sex marriage. You do not need to divorce in the state or country where you married. As long as you meet Maine's residency requirement, you can file for divorce in Maine regardless of where your marriage took place.

Multiple State Connections

If you and your spouse live in different states, you have options about where to file. Generally, you can file in either spouse's state of residence. You might want to consult with attorneys in both states to determine which state's laws are more favorable for your situation. Factors to consider include:

• Property division laws (community property vs. equitable distribution)
• Spousal support guidelines and limitations
• Treatment of property acquired before same-sex marriage was legal
• Recognition of non-biological parents' rights
• Tax implications

International Marriages

If you were married in another country, Maine will recognize your marriage as long as it was valid where performed. The same residency requirements apply, and Maine courts have jurisdiction to grant your divorce if you meet the six-month residency rule.

Filing for Divorce: The Process for LGBT Couples

The filing process for LGBT couples is identical to the process for opposite-sex couples, but certain considerations may be particularly important:

Step 1: Determine Eligibility

Before filing, make sure you meet the residency requirement. Gather your marriage certificate and any other documents proving when and where you married. If you married in another state or country, have a certified copy of your marriage certificate translated into English if necessary.

Step 2: Choose the Right Court

File your divorce complaint in the District Court in the county where either you or your spouse lives. If you're unsure which court is appropriate, the Maine court system's website provides information, or you can consult with an attorney.

Step 3: Complete Required Forms

You'll need to complete several forms:

• Divorce Complaint (stating grounds for divorce and what you're requesting)
• Vital Statistics form (providing information about your marriage)
• Child Support Affidavit (if you have children)
• Financial Affidavits (detailing income, expenses, assets, and debts)

When completing these forms as an LGBT couple, you may encounter some outdated language. Some forms still use terms like "husband" and "wife" or "mother" and "father." You can cross out these terms and write in "spouse" or "parent," or simply use your names. Maine courts accept these modifications and understand that form language hasn't fully caught up with marriage equality.

Step 4: File and Pay Fees

Submit your completed forms to the court clerk along with the filing fee. If you cannot afford the filing fee, you can request a fee waiver by completing an Application to Proceed Without Payment of Fees. The court will review your financial situation and determine if you qualify for a waiver.

Step 5: Serve Your Spouse

After filing, you must serve your spouse with copies of all documents. Service methods include:

• Sheriff's service (most common)
• Certified mail
• Voluntary acceptance of service
• Service by publication (if spouse cannot be located)

Step 6: Wait for Response Your spouse has 20 days to file an answer. If you're working toward an uncontested divorce, you might have already discussed the terms and your spouse may file an answer agreeing to everything. If issues are contested, your spouse's answer will identify areas of disagreement.

Same-Sex Divorce Timeline Comparison

Property Division for Same-Sex Couples

Maine uses equitable distribution to divide marital property in all divorces, including same-sex divorces. However, LGBT couples face unique challenges regarding what counts as marital property and how to handle property acquired before same-sex marriage was legal.

Defining Marital vs. Separate Property

Generally, marital property includes all property acquired during the legal marriage, while separate property includes property owned before marriage, gifts, and inheritances. For same-sex couples who were together for years before they could legally marry, this creates significant complications.

Consider this example: Alex and Jordan began living together in 2005. They bought a home together in 2008, with both names on the deed. They married in 2013 when same-sex marriage became legal in Maine. They're divorcing in 2025. Is their home marital property or separate property?

Technically, they acquired the home before marriage, which would make it separate property. However, both names are on the deed, and they purchased it with the intention of building a life together. Maine courts can consider equitable principles to address these situations, but it requires presenting evidence of intent, contributions, and the nature of the relationship.

Factors Courts Consider for LGBT Property Division

• The legal date of marriage vs. the actual start of the relationship
• Whether the couple held themselves out as married before it was legal
• Whether they had a commitment ceremony or a domestic partnership
• Financial entanglement and joint property ownership before legal marriage
• The contributions each partner made to acquiring, maintaining, or improving the property
• Expectations and agreements between the partners about property ownership
• Whether treating property as separate would create an unjust result

Spousal Support in LGBT Divorces

Spousal support (alimony) in LGBT divorces follows the same legal standards as in opposite-sex divorces, but the unique circumstances of many same-sex relationships can affect how courts apply these standards.

Length of Marriage Consideration

Courts consider marriage length when determining spousal support. For LGBT couples, this can create unfairness. If a couple was together for 20 years but only legally married for the last 12, the court typically considers only the 12-year legal marriage. This shorter duration might result in less spousal support or shorter duration support than would be awarded to an opposite-sex couple married for 20 years.

However, Maine courts have discretion to consider the full relationship when appropriate. Couples can present evidence of their long-term commitment, including:

• Joint financial decisions are made throughout the relationship
• Career sacrifices one partner made to support the other
• Joint purchases and investments before legal marriage
• How the couple presented themselves to others (as married/committed partners)
• Reliance and expectations created by the long-term relationship

Child Custody and Support in LGBT Divorces

Child custody and support in LGBT divorces can be complex, particularly when one parent has no biological or adoptive relationship with the children. Maine law protects both biological and non-biological parents' rights, but non-biological parents must take specific steps to establish their legal status.

Establishing Parental Rights

LGBT couples have children through various means:

• Adoption (joint or second-parent adoption)
• Assisted reproduction (artificial insemination, IVF, surrogacy)
• Children from previous relationships
• Foster care leading to adoption

For Non-Biological Parents

If you're a non-biological parent who hasn't legally adopted the children, you may still have parental rights under Maine's de facto parent doctrine. To establish de facto parent status, you must prove:

• The biological or adoptive parent agreed to and encouraged the parent-like relationship
• You lived with the child
• You performed parenting functions without expecting payment
• A parent-child bond is formed between you and the child

Once established as a de facto parent, you have the same custody and visitation rights as a biological parent. The court will determine custody based on the child's best interests, not on biological connections.

Best Interests of the Child Standard

Maine courts determine custody based on what's best for the child, considering:

• The child's relationship with each parent
• Each parent's ability to provide for the child's needs
• The child's adjustment to home, school, and community
• Each parent's willingness to support the child's relationship with the other parent
• Any history of domestic violence or abuse
• The child's preferences (if age-appropriate)

Sexual orientation and gender identity cannot be factors in custody decisions. A parent's LGBT status cannot be used against them, and courts cannot assume that having LGBT parents is harmful to children.

Parenting Plans

All Maine divorces with children require a parenting plan that outlines:

• Legal custody (decision-making authority)
• Physical custody (where the child lives)
• Parenting time schedules (visitation)
• Holiday and vacation schedules
• Communication methods between parents and children
• How parents will make decisions about education, healthcare, and religion
• How disputes will be resolved

Child Support

Child support follows Maine's child support guidelines, which use both parents' incomes, the number of children, and parenting time allocation to calculate support amounts. Both biological and non-biological parents (if they've established parental rights) have equal obligations to support their children financially.

Domestic Violence and LGBT Divorces

Domestic violence affects people in all types of relationships, including same-sex relationships. LGBT individuals facing domestic violence during marriage or divorce have the same legal protections as anyone else, but they may face unique barriers to seeking help.

Maine law allows anyone experiencing domestic abuse to obtain a Protection From Abuse (PFA) order. Domestic abuse includes:

• Physical abuse or threats of physical abuse
• Sexual abuse
• Emotional or psychological abuse
• Stalking or harassment
• Controlling behavior

LGBT individuals can file for PFA orders against same-sex partners or spouses. The process is the same regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity.

Financial Considerations Specific to LGBT Divorces

Beyond standard property division and support issues, LGBT couples should consider several financial matters:

Since the 2013 Windsor decision and 2015 Obergefell decision, same-sex married couples have the same federal benefits and obligations as opposite-sex couples. However, couples married before these decisions may face unique tax issues related to years when their marriage wasn't federally recognized.

Same-sex divorces have the same tax consequences as opposite-sex divorces:

• Property transfers between spouses during divorce are generally tax-free
• Spousal support is no longer tax-deductible for the payer or taxable to the recipient (for divorces finalized after 2018)
• Child support is neither deductible nor taxable
• The parent with primary custody typically claims children as dependents for tax purposes

Mediation and Alternative Dispute Resolution

Mediation and other alternative dispute resolution methods can be particularly helpful for LGBT divorces. These approaches offer several advantages:

Benefits of Mediation for LGBT Couples

• More privacy than public court proceedings (important for couples concerned about discrimination or coming out)
• More control over outcomes, allowing creative solutions for unique family situations
• Less adversarial than litigation, which can help preserve co-parenting relationships
• Often faster and less expensive than contested divorce trials
• Ability to choose LGBT-affirming mediators who understand same-sex relationship dynamics

When Mediation May Not Work

• Cases involving domestic violence or power imbalances
• When one spouse is hiding assets or being dishonest
• When one spouse refuses to negotiate in good faith
• When immediate court intervention is needed (such as for emergency custody or support)

Life After LGBT Divorce

Divorce is difficult, but many LGBT individuals find that life improves after ending an unhappy marriage. Moving forward requires attention to several areas:

Emotional Recovery:

• Allow yourself time to grieve the end of your marriage
• Work with an LGBT-affirming therapist to process emotions
• Connect with support groups and other people who've been through same-sex divorce
• Rebuild your identity as a single person
• Address any internalized homophobia or shame that may have contributed to relationship problems

Practical Matters:

• Update your estate planning documents (will, power of attorney, healthcare proxy)
• Change beneficiaries on life insurance, retirement accounts, and bank accounts
• Update your name if you're changing it back
• Establish separate credit in your own name
• Create a budget based on your post-divorce financial situation

Co-Parenting:

• Focus on your children's needs and best interests
• Maintain consistent, positive communication with your ex-spouse about the children
• Follow your parenting plan and support your children's relationship with their other parent
• Consider ongoing co-parenting counseling or education
• Create new routines and traditions with your children

Rebuilding Your Life:

• Reconnect with friends and family
• Pursue interests and hobbies you may have neglected
• Consider new career opportunities if your marriage limited your professional growth
• Get involved in LGBT community activities
• Take time before entering a new relationship to understand what you want and need

Resources for LGBT Individuals Divorcing in Maine

Legal Resources:

• Pine Tree Legal Assistance: Free legal help for low-income Maine residents
• Maine Volunteer Lawyers Project: Pro bono legal services
• GLAD (GLBTQ Legal Advocates & Defenders): Legal advocacy for LGBT rights

Support and Advocacy:

• EqualityMaine: LGBT advocacy organization
• Maine Coalition to End Domestic Violence: Resources for domestic violence survivors
• PFLAG chapters throughout Maine: Support for LGBT individuals and families

Court Resources:

• Maine Judicial Branch website: Forms, information, and court locations
• Maine Law Court Library: Legal research assistance

Counseling and Support Groups:

• LGBT community centers in Portland, Bangor, and other cities
• Local therapists specializing in LGBT issues and divorce
• Online support groups for people going through same-sex divorce

Remember that seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. Whether you need legal representation, counseling, financial advice, or community support, resources are available to help you through this challenging time. Your rights are protected under Maine law, and you deserve to be treated with dignity and respect throughout the divorce process.